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递给母亲的甜蜜抚慰SqueezeMyHandahatILoveYou
玛丽·马尔丹特MaryMarte
Rememberwhenyouwereadyoufellandhurtyourself?Doyourememberwhatyourmotherdidtoeasethepain?MymraceRose，wouldpickmeup，carrymetoherbed，sitmedownandkissmy“owwie”
.Theonthebedbesideme，takemyhandinhersandsay，“Whenithurts，squeezemyhandahatIloveyou.”
OverandoverI’dsqueezeherhaime，withoutfail，Iheardthewords，“Mary，Iloveyou.”
&imes，I’dfiendijusttohavethatritualwithher.AsIgrewup，theritualged，butshealwaysfoundaainahejoyIfeltinanyareaofmylife.Ondifficultdaysduringhighschool，she’dofferherfavoriteHersheyournedhmy20s，MomofteosuggestaspontaneouspichatEstabrookParkjusttocelebrateawarm，sunnydayinWis.Ahahank-younotearrivediereverysisheandmyfathermadetomyhmeofhowspecialIwastoher.
ButthemostmemorableritualremainedherholdingmyhandwhenIwasadsayis，squeezemyhandahatIloveyou.”
，whenIwasinmylate30s，followingavisitbymyparebefore，myfatherphoaysandingandhisdires，butIheardandpanihisvoice.“Mary，something’swrongwithyourmotherandIdon’tknowwhattodo.Pleaseeoverasquicklyasyou.”
&edrivetomyparents’homefilledmewithdread，weningtomymother.WhenIarrived，IfoundDadpathekitdMomlyingontheirbed.Hereyesweredherhaedoomach.Icalledttokeepmyvoiceasom，I’mhere.”
“Mary?”
“Yes，Mo”
“Mary，isthatyou?”
“Yes，Mom，it’sme.”
Iaredfortheion，andwhe，Ifroze，notknowing>
“Mary，amIgoingtodie?”
TearswelledupinsidemeasIlookedatmyloviheresohelpless.
Mythoughtsratilthisquestionind:WhatwouldMomsay?
Ipausedforamomentthatseemedlikeamillioio，Idon’tknowifytodie，butifyou’sokay.Iloveyou.”
Sheary，Ihurtsomuch.”
Agaitosay.Isatdowhebed，pickedupherhandandheardmyselfsay，“Mom，whenithurts，squeezemyhandahatIloveyou.”
Shesqueezedmyhand.
“Mom，Iloveyou.”
Manyhandsqueezesand“Iloveyou’s”
passedbetweenmymotherahewoyears，untilshepassedawayfromovarianeverknowwheruthwille，butIdoknohentheydo，whomeverI’mwith，Iwilloffermymother’ssweetritualofloveeverytime.“Whenithurts，squeezemyhandahatIloveyou.”
小时候跌倒了受伤后的情形，你还记得吗？还记得妈妈是怎样抚慰我们的伤痛的吗？在这种情形下，我的妈妈雷格斯·罗斯就会把我抱起，放到她的**，亲吻我摔痛的地方。
然后，坐在我身旁，握住我的小手说：“痛的时候，握紧我的手，我会告诉你我爱你。”
一次又一次，我握紧了她的手。
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